April of this year we got a wonderful surprise. Steve's mom and step-dad, AKA Halmoni and Harabogy, came to visit us for two weeks. It had been 9 years since Steve's mom had travled to the states, and she was quite nervous about it. This has prevented her from coming any time before. They had always talked of coming, and we wanted them to come, but her health and what the traveling might due to her body always prevented her from coming. We were all so excited to pick them up from the airport. So excited, we waited at the wrong point. Ok, the airport had the wrong one listed, but they found us. And of course the first thing grandparents are going to do is spoil their grandchildren with love and gifts. After a long trip, we had to travel another three hours to get back to our place. Though we have lived here ten years, this was Steve's mom's first visit to our house.
Since they had to come in April, when Harabogy could get time off, they undertstood that the kids would be in school and Steve would need to work. There was no real interest in sightseeing, since his mom had lived in the states before. Instead there was work to do. Planting of beautiful flowers, bushes and plants, and cooking a Korean feast. The girls had a blast learning how to make kim bap, and we all enjoyed eating it.
We did make a quick trip up to Shipshewana. Heather's parents wanted to come back early from Florida to see them, and we wanted to get Steve's grandma and mom together for the first time since our wedding. They had such a special relationship. It was a good reunion.
His parents' anniversary was while we were here, and we celebrated with a cake, flowers and sparkling wine. They also blessed us with a special gift, that Steve has used to finalize his plans to go towards a 15th anniversary trip to Hawaii in two years. His mom enjoyed Hana Market, a local Korean store, and stocked us up on Bacchus and Shin ramyun. Though she is adventurous in her eating, nothing impressed her until we took them to Nine Irish Brothers. Harabogy is of Irish decent, but had never eaten Irish food. I think all the adults went away satisfied.
The time went fast, and all were sad to make the trip back to the airport. It seemed that Halmoni adjusted to the time change better and her body seemed to do just fine with this trip. We are hoping that this will encourage her to come back another time.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Climb
In December we went down to Georgia to spend Christmas with my sister's family. Our parents were support to come, but mom started having heart issues, and couldn't come. We definitely missed them, but the kids still had fun together, and no one got the stomach flu this year! Maybe Georgia is not so bad, or...
One of the days we decided to go into Atlanta and see the Federal Reserve (free and neat) and Ikea. As Heather started the walk through exhibit at the Federal Reserve, Gabe wanted to be picked up. Since we had the stroller, she told him he could either go in the stroller or hold her hand. When he said no to those options, whined and didn't make a choice, Heather put him in the stroller, which led to a major fit. She took him into the women's bathroom and held him in a stall for what seemed like eternity, but was probably more like an half hour. Somehow the guards didn't come in and Heather unusually kept her cool. But at the end Heather broke down and Daddy was steaming mad and took over in the men's restroom. Worst...fit...ever. No problems the rest of the day, luckily.
When we got home from our trip, Heather was making supper and Gabe was sitting on the counter, "assisting." He looked over at the bananas, and said "ba-na-na." Heather was in complete shock, as Gabe hardly was able to say anything, and usually we would call a banana something like "nana." Nope, he clearly enunciated each part of the word. It was from here that he started to make a steady climb in talking. Slowly, but surely, he started to get clearer and more sounds. He LOVED his speech therapist, and we were all to see his great progress. He even started to enjoy his physical therapist more when she started to let him choose what to do. His physical abilities continued to climb at the steady rate they had from the start. Just fewer tantrums during the sessions.
His tantrums have made a steady climb, but only in frequency. It is not uncommon to have several major tantrums a day. This has been the hardest part of parenting Gabe. He can be very obedient and charming, but then if something goes against what he wants to do, whack, he'll make you pay, big time. We have tried to have him in his room, and if he doesn't calm down, shut the door. But we started to find that we were loosing it having to hear to his ear piercing, finger nails on a chalk board fits. Since we would be able to hear him from anywhere in the house, we found another place where he could be safe and secure, yet we could get away from the sound. This allows us all to get rational.
A few days ago he actually went the whole day without a major fit. We celebrated the "No Fit Day!" He really enjoyed that he didn't throw a fit, but probably not as much as we did. He managed to keep it up for a few days before breaking it. Not bad, considering. We are starting to learn some of his triggers (did we just come from a new situation, especially one with lots of noise or people?). We also have to pepper him a lot before an event, and give him a countdown as to when an event will end, especially one that he enjoys. At the same time, he knows that we are his parents and we are in control, not him.
Addison absolutely loved her third grade teacher. Steve and Heather still question some things, but we'll have to see. In February, at the last minute, her and her best friend Kiersten decided to perform "Tonight" by Toby Mac for the annual variety show at church. They did really good for the last minute. We really enjoy their friendship.
Through Addison's third grade teacher she got introduced to Lego Robotics, and fell in love with the basic programming. She is doing the summer camp for it, and is hoping to be a part of the team at school next year. She will no longer be at the nearest elementary school, but going to the 4-6 grade school. It's like a mini-junior high, and just make us as parents cringe that she is old enough to be there. She is excited, and is looking forward to not only Lego Robotics, but also the string program where she will be learning the cello. Oh, she wants to do everything, but we have to find a way to hold her back. She is so social and extroverted, that can be a challenge. But at least she still loves to be with her parents, and we'll enjoy every second that it lasts.
Lauren is our little sponge and comedian. Though she is also introverted and shy. She loved Kindergarten this year, and has continued on her reading skills. She is currently able to read chapter books, and is about at the end of first grade reading level. She loves Star Wars (as well as Addison), and would play Star Wars Wii all day long if we'd let her. She is joyful, and will say the darndest things. Recently we went on a walk and Steve and I both thought she said "Run, Forrest," even with the southern drawl. Turns out she said "run for it." Other times, she'll make a quip that is spot on.
Lauren loves to spell words and write words, but she also uses them to hurt others. She can have a hardened heart about this, so can be a challenge. Her work ethic lasts about five minutes. I think mom has been a little too lenient or distracted by Gabe to focus on this issue enough.
Steve has had another sudden valley develop in his life. Last November he started having issues with dry eyes. In January, almost out of the blue, his position at the court was eliminated. Praise the Lord that since it was done this way, he got severance pay and was able to file for unemployment, as well as found a position within WALKING distance from home that started the end of February. It was quite a hit to the pocket book, but God always makes things work, and he has blessed us over and over financially. But because of this job change and possibly an incorrect diagnosis, he didn't follow up enough about his continuing eye issues. After seeing another ophthalmologist who referred him to a specialist in Indy, it looks like he has a condition where his brain is wanting his eyes to blink out of control. He tried the prescribed treatment, and though it helped, it was not completely effective. And today he rear-ended the vehicle in front of him. May or may not be related to his eye issue, but raises concerns. First accident he's been in for over a decade.
Heather tries to spin all the plates unsuccessfully. Many get dropped, and are usually are the ones like "having a spotless house" and "playing with the kids." The past year she has felt more like she has been able to come out of the cave that she has been in trying to care for Gabe. But she has also felt the consequences of lost attachments to friends and acquaintances. She struggles with yelling at the kids.
With everything that Steve has gone through, and with the kids getting older, Heather is trying to discern what role God wants her to have over the next coming years, and is considering taking a course in accounting. She does social work daily, and it doesn't pay the greatest. And she has always wondered why God made her greatest strength in math.
As far as our house, we are moving forward with the idea of adding on to our house. We don't know yet if this is really going to happen, but we are taking steps towards it. The houses that we would like, are just much more than it would be to simply add on. Sounds crazy, but to get what we want, and to make the updating that would be needed, that is where we are at. And we really love our neighbors. We have been blessed with wonderful neighbors, and would hate to lose this community of friends. Not just adult friends, but friends for the kids, that we can trust our children to be in their homes, and they in ours. So far God is leading us in this direction, but we know things can change.
Through it all, we continue our climb to eternity, to our everlasting, loving, Heavenly Father. This life is just a pale shadow of what is to come. But may we shine His light to others in this dark world.
One of the days we decided to go into Atlanta and see the Federal Reserve (free and neat) and Ikea. As Heather started the walk through exhibit at the Federal Reserve, Gabe wanted to be picked up. Since we had the stroller, she told him he could either go in the stroller or hold her hand. When he said no to those options, whined and didn't make a choice, Heather put him in the stroller, which led to a major fit. She took him into the women's bathroom and held him in a stall for what seemed like eternity, but was probably more like an half hour. Somehow the guards didn't come in and Heather unusually kept her cool. But at the end Heather broke down and Daddy was steaming mad and took over in the men's restroom. Worst...fit...ever. No problems the rest of the day, luckily.
When we got home from our trip, Heather was making supper and Gabe was sitting on the counter, "assisting." He looked over at the bananas, and said "ba-na-na." Heather was in complete shock, as Gabe hardly was able to say anything, and usually we would call a banana something like "nana." Nope, he clearly enunciated each part of the word. It was from here that he started to make a steady climb in talking. Slowly, but surely, he started to get clearer and more sounds. He LOVED his speech therapist, and we were all to see his great progress. He even started to enjoy his physical therapist more when she started to let him choose what to do. His physical abilities continued to climb at the steady rate they had from the start. Just fewer tantrums during the sessions.
His tantrums have made a steady climb, but only in frequency. It is not uncommon to have several major tantrums a day. This has been the hardest part of parenting Gabe. He can be very obedient and charming, but then if something goes against what he wants to do, whack, he'll make you pay, big time. We have tried to have him in his room, and if he doesn't calm down, shut the door. But we started to find that we were loosing it having to hear to his ear piercing, finger nails on a chalk board fits. Since we would be able to hear him from anywhere in the house, we found another place where he could be safe and secure, yet we could get away from the sound. This allows us all to get rational.
A few days ago he actually went the whole day without a major fit. We celebrated the "No Fit Day!" He really enjoyed that he didn't throw a fit, but probably not as much as we did. He managed to keep it up for a few days before breaking it. Not bad, considering. We are starting to learn some of his triggers (did we just come from a new situation, especially one with lots of noise or people?). We also have to pepper him a lot before an event, and give him a countdown as to when an event will end, especially one that he enjoys. At the same time, he knows that we are his parents and we are in control, not him.
Addison absolutely loved her third grade teacher. Steve and Heather still question some things, but we'll have to see. In February, at the last minute, her and her best friend Kiersten decided to perform "Tonight" by Toby Mac for the annual variety show at church. They did really good for the last minute. We really enjoy their friendship.
Through Addison's third grade teacher she got introduced to Lego Robotics, and fell in love with the basic programming. She is doing the summer camp for it, and is hoping to be a part of the team at school next year. She will no longer be at the nearest elementary school, but going to the 4-6 grade school. It's like a mini-junior high, and just make us as parents cringe that she is old enough to be there. She is excited, and is looking forward to not only Lego Robotics, but also the string program where she will be learning the cello. Oh, she wants to do everything, but we have to find a way to hold her back. She is so social and extroverted, that can be a challenge. But at least she still loves to be with her parents, and we'll enjoy every second that it lasts.
Lauren is our little sponge and comedian. Though she is also introverted and shy. She loved Kindergarten this year, and has continued on her reading skills. She is currently able to read chapter books, and is about at the end of first grade reading level. She loves Star Wars (as well as Addison), and would play Star Wars Wii all day long if we'd let her. She is joyful, and will say the darndest things. Recently we went on a walk and Steve and I both thought she said "Run, Forrest," even with the southern drawl. Turns out she said "run for it." Other times, she'll make a quip that is spot on.
Lauren loves to spell words and write words, but she also uses them to hurt others. She can have a hardened heart about this, so can be a challenge. Her work ethic lasts about five minutes. I think mom has been a little too lenient or distracted by Gabe to focus on this issue enough.
Steve has had another sudden valley develop in his life. Last November he started having issues with dry eyes. In January, almost out of the blue, his position at the court was eliminated. Praise the Lord that since it was done this way, he got severance pay and was able to file for unemployment, as well as found a position within WALKING distance from home that started the end of February. It was quite a hit to the pocket book, but God always makes things work, and he has blessed us over and over financially. But because of this job change and possibly an incorrect diagnosis, he didn't follow up enough about his continuing eye issues. After seeing another ophthalmologist who referred him to a specialist in Indy, it looks like he has a condition where his brain is wanting his eyes to blink out of control. He tried the prescribed treatment, and though it helped, it was not completely effective. And today he rear-ended the vehicle in front of him. May or may not be related to his eye issue, but raises concerns. First accident he's been in for over a decade.
Heather tries to spin all the plates unsuccessfully. Many get dropped, and are usually are the ones like "having a spotless house" and "playing with the kids." The past year she has felt more like she has been able to come out of the cave that she has been in trying to care for Gabe. But she has also felt the consequences of lost attachments to friends and acquaintances. She struggles with yelling at the kids.
With everything that Steve has gone through, and with the kids getting older, Heather is trying to discern what role God wants her to have over the next coming years, and is considering taking a course in accounting. She does social work daily, and it doesn't pay the greatest. And she has always wondered why God made her greatest strength in math.
As far as our house, we are moving forward with the idea of adding on to our house. We don't know yet if this is really going to happen, but we are taking steps towards it. The houses that we would like, are just much more than it would be to simply add on. Sounds crazy, but to get what we want, and to make the updating that would be needed, that is where we are at. And we really love our neighbors. We have been blessed with wonderful neighbors, and would hate to lose this community of friends. Not just adult friends, but friends for the kids, that we can trust our children to be in their homes, and they in ours. So far God is leading us in this direction, but we know things can change.
Through it all, we continue our climb to eternity, to our everlasting, loving, Heavenly Father. This life is just a pale shadow of what is to come. But may we shine His light to others in this dark world.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
2010 Summer and into Fall
Ok, yes it has been a long time. To finish off the last post, yes, Steve did badly sprain his ankle, and only was able to restart running the past couple months. We did end up getting away together for our birthdays to that wonderful B&B. And the babysitter is no longer having the stabbing eye pain nor is as drugged. But the eye pain could come back at any time, so prayers are appreciated. It is excruciating pain when it happens.
In June we took a wonderful vacation to the Great Smokey Mountains, and stayed in a cabin with 20 people! It was the first time in a LONG time that my mom's family got together, and we all had a great time. That's pretty amazing when you have almost 30 people gathered together. Gabe had his fits because of the change from normal in his life, but didn't do too bad. He got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa Prough while the rest of us went to Dollywood (surprisingly great park), and while Steve, Addison and I went with a group of us on a white water rafting tour. Ok, it was more like floating down a bumpy river, but Steve and I got to stay and do a second round with a few brave others and do the higher level rapids. What a blast. And Steve managed to do it despite his sprained ankle.
The rest of the summer I spent babying our blue blow up pool (the kind with a ring around it). It was it's third summer, and I got such a great deal on it, but the top ring had a hole in it that we couldn't find. It made it all the way to the end of August before it turned green and I couldn't get it back to the right color. The girls absolutely LOVE the pool, and can spend hours in it playing. At the end, even Gabe was having some fun in the pool, especially when he could walk around by himself with the innertube around him. The girls also had Tennis and swimming lessons.
Gabe turned two and we celebrated by having Grandpa Edwards come down and we all went to the Taste of Tippecanoe. Good food, just expensive. But all had a good time. The next day we had a Korean feast and some cake. Gabe's speech was still very limited, and he wasn't running, so we got a second referral with First Steps. When I thought it was his speech that was lagging, he actually didn't even qualify for that, but he did qualify for physical therapy, so that got us in the door with First Steps and he is with Speech and Physcial therapy weekly. He is making some gains, but it hasn't been that long.
Gabe continues to make strides of attaching to us and working on his sensory issues. He still doesn't like change (as was well exampled when the kids went back to school and Daddy went away for the week for work), but it is helpful to talk with him about what is going to happen. He may not like it, but at least it doesn't blind side him. He is also quite the charmer. He actually scored better than average on his social ability with First Steps. That was encouraging to me, as many children with sensory issue have Autism. But only God knows.
Lauren is loving Kidnergarten, and usually comes running at me with a big smile and hug at pick-up. Gives me something to look forward to. Socially she has come a long way, but she will never be an extrovert. Her reading is phenominal to me. She can read things that I think she shouldn't be able to do. Her reading level is not too far off of Addison's in 3rd grade. Yeah. But she has the same Kindergarten teacher as Addison had, and Addison's Kindergarten classmates were reading chapter books in Kindergarten. Her teacher told me then that kids learn to read at different paces, but they all catch up in third grade. So Lauren may just pick up on things a little earlier. Of course, she does want to be a doctor:).
Addison has continued to grow in many ways. But I feel like I have a budding lawyer on my hands, with all the questions and comebacks as to why I should change my mind. She can be quite the helper with her siblings or things around the house. She decided this year to do American Heritage Girls and Ballet. Unfortunately, ballet lasted only one session, and her heart went back to gymnastics. Since it's in the same place, we are back to gymnastics on Saturdays for both girls. They love it and it is great exercise. And Saturdays were much more peaceful last year (maybe that is because I didn't have Gabe with me to watch).
Steve's work is going well, but the work just continues to pile on. We are hoping the next year is a better that the last.
I'm still trying to figure out how to handle everything with three kids, school, extra-curricular activities, therapies, cleaning, cooking, shopping, and trying to have some fun. Add in there that they house is feeling tighter by the second, and low interest rates, and the bug to move to something bigger has bitten very hard. There were several houses for sale in our neighborhood this year, but none of them worked out. Now we just have to figure out where to go from here, and are considering the crazy idea of just adding on.
In June we took a wonderful vacation to the Great Smokey Mountains, and stayed in a cabin with 20 people! It was the first time in a LONG time that my mom's family got together, and we all had a great time. That's pretty amazing when you have almost 30 people gathered together. Gabe had his fits because of the change from normal in his life, but didn't do too bad. He got to stay with Grandma and Grandpa Prough while the rest of us went to Dollywood (surprisingly great park), and while Steve, Addison and I went with a group of us on a white water rafting tour. Ok, it was more like floating down a bumpy river, but Steve and I got to stay and do a second round with a few brave others and do the higher level rapids. What a blast. And Steve managed to do it despite his sprained ankle.
The rest of the summer I spent babying our blue blow up pool (the kind with a ring around it). It was it's third summer, and I got such a great deal on it, but the top ring had a hole in it that we couldn't find. It made it all the way to the end of August before it turned green and I couldn't get it back to the right color. The girls absolutely LOVE the pool, and can spend hours in it playing. At the end, even Gabe was having some fun in the pool, especially when he could walk around by himself with the innertube around him. The girls also had Tennis and swimming lessons.
Gabe turned two and we celebrated by having Grandpa Edwards come down and we all went to the Taste of Tippecanoe. Good food, just expensive. But all had a good time. The next day we had a Korean feast and some cake. Gabe's speech was still very limited, and he wasn't running, so we got a second referral with First Steps. When I thought it was his speech that was lagging, he actually didn't even qualify for that, but he did qualify for physical therapy, so that got us in the door with First Steps and he is with Speech and Physcial therapy weekly. He is making some gains, but it hasn't been that long.
Gabe continues to make strides of attaching to us and working on his sensory issues. He still doesn't like change (as was well exampled when the kids went back to school and Daddy went away for the week for work), but it is helpful to talk with him about what is going to happen. He may not like it, but at least it doesn't blind side him. He is also quite the charmer. He actually scored better than average on his social ability with First Steps. That was encouraging to me, as many children with sensory issue have Autism. But only God knows.
Lauren is loving Kidnergarten, and usually comes running at me with a big smile and hug at pick-up. Gives me something to look forward to. Socially she has come a long way, but she will never be an extrovert. Her reading is phenominal to me. She can read things that I think she shouldn't be able to do. Her reading level is not too far off of Addison's in 3rd grade. Yeah. But she has the same Kindergarten teacher as Addison had, and Addison's Kindergarten classmates were reading chapter books in Kindergarten. Her teacher told me then that kids learn to read at different paces, but they all catch up in third grade. So Lauren may just pick up on things a little earlier. Of course, she does want to be a doctor:).
Addison has continued to grow in many ways. But I feel like I have a budding lawyer on my hands, with all the questions and comebacks as to why I should change my mind. She can be quite the helper with her siblings or things around the house. She decided this year to do American Heritage Girls and Ballet. Unfortunately, ballet lasted only one session, and her heart went back to gymnastics. Since it's in the same place, we are back to gymnastics on Saturdays for both girls. They love it and it is great exercise. And Saturdays were much more peaceful last year (maybe that is because I didn't have Gabe with me to watch).
Steve's work is going well, but the work just continues to pile on. We are hoping the next year is a better that the last.
I'm still trying to figure out how to handle everything with three kids, school, extra-curricular activities, therapies, cleaning, cooking, shopping, and trying to have some fun. Add in there that they house is feeling tighter by the second, and low interest rates, and the bug to move to something bigger has bitten very hard. There were several houses for sale in our neighborhood this year, but none of them worked out. Now we just have to figure out where to go from here, and are considering the crazy idea of just adding on.
Friday, May 21, 2010
The rest of the school year
In late February we made our annual trek to Chicago for the Hustle up the Hancock. Steve gets to compete, and I get to spend the weekend in Chicago seeing some of my college friends. We stayed at the Embassy Suites downtown, and that was really nice. We also got to eat at a Korean restaurant and shop at a Korean grocery store. Unfortunately, Gabe did absolutely awful there. Took him forever to go to sleep, and then when he was asleep he was poopy. We changed him, and then he started crying all over again. The next day was fussy, and we didn't get home until late, and he screamed when we put him to bed. All I can say is the rest was a REALLY bad night.
A few weeks later the kids and I headed off for cold Florida for spring break. After how Gabe did in Chicago, and with his first flight since coming, I was braced for the worst. He did great. The only complaint I had with him was waking up early, about 6:45 every day. But the girls did the same thing when they were little. We think maybe the difference was that we talked with him about what was going on. He stayed with my parents for the day, and I surprised the girls with a day at Disney. That started out rough with Lauren being scared of most of the things we did in the morning, but after a talk with Daddy, and Mommy being a bit more careful, she did great in the afternoon. The girls definitely deserved this treat, after the year they had. The have done great with Gabe.
Since then we went on a spring retreat with our church group in Brown County, and Gabe did great there too. Even better than in Florida. Thinking the key is talking to him.
Unfortunately during that weekend, Steve's step-mom Carolyn suddenly passed away. The week before she was to have minor surgery, and she never came out of surgery. She apparently had a stroke (or strokes). Her and his dad had just started going to church, and we worried about his faith. But we were both surprised at how he held his faith through it all. We just pray that it continues despite life going back to "normal" without her or someone by his side.
Again, Gabe is doing much better overall. I feel more like his mom and attaching to him more and more. We even have more and more times of smiles and laughter with each other. He is definitely a daddy's boy, and after that he adores Lauren. But we've come a long way, and can pretty much say we are to "normal" childhood with some adoption and Gabriel quirks. For instance, it is currently 5:50, and I have been up since 5, as Gabe stayed awake until 9 last night talking/fussing, and woke again at 5. With Gabe, if we go in and talk with him, he will absolutely blow up when we leave. After about 20 minutes of him moaning for us, I finally went in and talked with him. When I left, he cried. But at least it wasn't a blow up. Here's to the next two hours until he can actually get up!
Addison is blossoming from a little girl into a big girl. Yes, she is just starting to show signs of maturing, but I also see it in her behavior. The way she talks about her friends and school, how she plays, and her love of performing. We have struggled with her lately with obedience. This has always been her downfall. But she did do her jobs for two weeks in a row, so she earned her allowance and is having two friends over after school today.
Lauren just graduated from Pre-Kindergarten. It doesn't seem possible that my baby girl is going to school in a few months. Academically, she is probably beyond the target, but socially, she has a long way to go. She plays wonderfully with her siblings, but with friends from school she still struggles, wanting to play more by herself or not knowing how to play together. The teachers aren't concerned as they have seen great progress, so I am not as concerned. Just a little:).
My parents are struggling with their health. The 70's have not been kind to their health. Dad was in the hospital twice in Florida due to an irregular heartbeat. It seems it was from being on a certain blood pressure med, and now he is doing better. My mom has had pain in her lower body for some time. She recently found that she is missing bones in her foot, and that is why they are so deformed looking and off center, which causes pain elsewhere. For the past few weeks she has been having unbearable stabbing pain in her eye. The medicine that has finally been helping is hard on her body, and makes her sound drugged. She also can't think clearly, and this has me concerned on many levels.
In two days Steve and I will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary. Boy has this journey been much rockier than I could have ever imagine, but glad I had my best friend to go through it with. We were supposed to go back to this wonderful bed and breakfast in Valpo tonight, but our babysitter had to cancel (see about paragraph). As my parents age, we will have to come up with some other resources to be able to get away. Just not sure we can afford those other resources, and yet Steve and I know how valuable it is to get away even for one night.
Ah, the saga continues. Steve just came in from his early morning run (hey, he was up anyways at 5), and seems to have sprained his ankle. Oy!
A few weeks later the kids and I headed off for cold Florida for spring break. After how Gabe did in Chicago, and with his first flight since coming, I was braced for the worst. He did great. The only complaint I had with him was waking up early, about 6:45 every day. But the girls did the same thing when they were little. We think maybe the difference was that we talked with him about what was going on. He stayed with my parents for the day, and I surprised the girls with a day at Disney. That started out rough with Lauren being scared of most of the things we did in the morning, but after a talk with Daddy, and Mommy being a bit more careful, she did great in the afternoon. The girls definitely deserved this treat, after the year they had. The have done great with Gabe.
Since then we went on a spring retreat with our church group in Brown County, and Gabe did great there too. Even better than in Florida. Thinking the key is talking to him.
Unfortunately during that weekend, Steve's step-mom Carolyn suddenly passed away. The week before she was to have minor surgery, and she never came out of surgery. She apparently had a stroke (or strokes). Her and his dad had just started going to church, and we worried about his faith. But we were both surprised at how he held his faith through it all. We just pray that it continues despite life going back to "normal" without her or someone by his side.
Again, Gabe is doing much better overall. I feel more like his mom and attaching to him more and more. We even have more and more times of smiles and laughter with each other. He is definitely a daddy's boy, and after that he adores Lauren. But we've come a long way, and can pretty much say we are to "normal" childhood with some adoption and Gabriel quirks. For instance, it is currently 5:50, and I have been up since 5, as Gabe stayed awake until 9 last night talking/fussing, and woke again at 5. With Gabe, if we go in and talk with him, he will absolutely blow up when we leave. After about 20 minutes of him moaning for us, I finally went in and talked with him. When I left, he cried. But at least it wasn't a blow up. Here's to the next two hours until he can actually get up!
Addison is blossoming from a little girl into a big girl. Yes, she is just starting to show signs of maturing, but I also see it in her behavior. The way she talks about her friends and school, how she plays, and her love of performing. We have struggled with her lately with obedience. This has always been her downfall. But she did do her jobs for two weeks in a row, so she earned her allowance and is having two friends over after school today.
Lauren just graduated from Pre-Kindergarten. It doesn't seem possible that my baby girl is going to school in a few months. Academically, she is probably beyond the target, but socially, she has a long way to go. She plays wonderfully with her siblings, but with friends from school she still struggles, wanting to play more by herself or not knowing how to play together. The teachers aren't concerned as they have seen great progress, so I am not as concerned. Just a little:).
My parents are struggling with their health. The 70's have not been kind to their health. Dad was in the hospital twice in Florida due to an irregular heartbeat. It seems it was from being on a certain blood pressure med, and now he is doing better. My mom has had pain in her lower body for some time. She recently found that she is missing bones in her foot, and that is why they are so deformed looking and off center, which causes pain elsewhere. For the past few weeks she has been having unbearable stabbing pain in her eye. The medicine that has finally been helping is hard on her body, and makes her sound drugged. She also can't think clearly, and this has me concerned on many levels.
In two days Steve and I will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary. Boy has this journey been much rockier than I could have ever imagine, but glad I had my best friend to go through it with. We were supposed to go back to this wonderful bed and breakfast in Valpo tonight, but our babysitter had to cancel (see about paragraph). As my parents age, we will have to come up with some other resources to be able to get away. Just not sure we can afford those other resources, and yet Steve and I know how valuable it is to get away even for one night.
Ah, the saga continues. Steve just came in from his early morning run (hey, he was up anyways at 5), and seems to have sprained his ankle. Oy!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Finalization, Christmas and Birthdays
Boy, it's been awhile. Gabe continues to do better, and life has started to get more normal. Instead of being completely wiped out, we are now limping.
In December we went to court in Indy to officially adopt Gabe. Despite Lauren puking in the van right as we parked down there, everything went smoothly. Steve was more used to the setting, and was more comfortable than I was. I didn't realize that we had to be sworn in!
It ended up being an adoption blitz, and there were hundreds of adoptions taking place that day. We were supposed to do this in October, but H1N1 took our family out. Our judge (whom was recently nominated to the US District Court by Sen Bayh) was wearing a Santa hat, and they had a party with lots of food in the other court after our finalization. He is officialy ours.
After a quick stop at Trader Joe's to get some paper towels (to clean up the smelly mess from Lauren) and other yummies, we went to Momma's Korean restaurant in Indy.
For Christmas we went to my sister's house in Georgia. On the way there, we split up the trip, and Gabe didn't do too bad. Addison was a great help. Unfortunately, Addison was sick with the stomach flu on Christmas morning, Gabe had it by that afternoon, and everyone else got it one by one, except for my sister. Luckily not everyone was throwing up, but we all got sick. My mom,unfortunately, got sick the day she was to fly out. I felt so bad for her. Needless to say, we love my sister and family, but we couldn't wait to leave!
The girls have started gymnastics on Saturdays and are loving it. In fact, Addison did a back walkover just today. Lauren continues to amaze us with her reading ability. Not quite five and she will read words that I think there is no way she'll know what it is. She even spelled one of her sister's spelling words before! Addison celebrated her eighth (is it possible?) birthday at Chuck E Cheese with her BFF Kiersten and neighbors/friends Delaney and Kathryn. Her favorite gift was a lava lamp. She loved getting to spend all day and night with Kiersten.
Steve went to San Antonio for work the beginning of February. It was very long and tiring, but we made it. An impending snow storm brought him home earlier than planned.
Gabe continues to do better, month by month. Today I got a wonderful gift in that he let me cradle him. Gabe has NEVER let me do this. I took him out of the shower and held him in my arms, and he didn't say anything and he looked into my eyes! I was able to get him dressed and do it again, and so was Steve. I just can't tell you what a blessing that was.
Of course nothing is perfect. Currently he has been screaming/crying for a half hour (now make that 45 minutes) fighting to go to sleep. It's been like that for a while every time he goes to bed. I baby sat a friends child who is 6 months younger on Friday, and all I did was lay her down and she slept for 2 hours without a peep. Gabe screamed for a half hour and slept an hour. Sigh. And can he throw a fit. Screams bloody murder each time. I've put him in his room for them. Probably not the adoption way, but neither is loosing it with him.
Gabe is walking fine now, and slowly gaining sign language. He is wanting to talk, but just doesn't have the ability. He is trying though. And he understands alot. He is able to go to child care at church with minimal crying at the beginning and when we are due to pick him up (I'm told he has an internal clock). He is still very small, but eats better than my nephews.
I've met so many acquaintances who pray for us, and I'm just amazed. How the family of God has prayed and lifted us up, and God has heard them and answered their prayers. Thanks.
In December we went to court in Indy to officially adopt Gabe. Despite Lauren puking in the van right as we parked down there, everything went smoothly. Steve was more used to the setting, and was more comfortable than I was. I didn't realize that we had to be sworn in!
It ended up being an adoption blitz, and there were hundreds of adoptions taking place that day. We were supposed to do this in October, but H1N1 took our family out. Our judge (whom was recently nominated to the US District Court by Sen Bayh) was wearing a Santa hat, and they had a party with lots of food in the other court after our finalization. He is officialy ours.
After a quick stop at Trader Joe's to get some paper towels (to clean up the smelly mess from Lauren) and other yummies, we went to Momma's Korean restaurant in Indy.
For Christmas we went to my sister's house in Georgia. On the way there, we split up the trip, and Gabe didn't do too bad. Addison was a great help. Unfortunately, Addison was sick with the stomach flu on Christmas morning, Gabe had it by that afternoon, and everyone else got it one by one, except for my sister. Luckily not everyone was throwing up, but we all got sick. My mom,unfortunately, got sick the day she was to fly out. I felt so bad for her. Needless to say, we love my sister and family, but we couldn't wait to leave!
The girls have started gymnastics on Saturdays and are loving it. In fact, Addison did a back walkover just today. Lauren continues to amaze us with her reading ability. Not quite five and she will read words that I think there is no way she'll know what it is. She even spelled one of her sister's spelling words before! Addison celebrated her eighth (is it possible?) birthday at Chuck E Cheese with her BFF Kiersten and neighbors/friends Delaney and Kathryn. Her favorite gift was a lava lamp. She loved getting to spend all day and night with Kiersten.
Steve went to San Antonio for work the beginning of February. It was very long and tiring, but we made it. An impending snow storm brought him home earlier than planned.
Gabe continues to do better, month by month. Today I got a wonderful gift in that he let me cradle him. Gabe has NEVER let me do this. I took him out of the shower and held him in my arms, and he didn't say anything and he looked into my eyes! I was able to get him dressed and do it again, and so was Steve. I just can't tell you what a blessing that was.
Of course nothing is perfect. Currently he has been screaming/crying for a half hour (now make that 45 minutes) fighting to go to sleep. It's been like that for a while every time he goes to bed. I baby sat a friends child who is 6 months younger on Friday, and all I did was lay her down and she slept for 2 hours without a peep. Gabe screamed for a half hour and slept an hour. Sigh. And can he throw a fit. Screams bloody murder each time. I've put him in his room for them. Probably not the adoption way, but neither is loosing it with him.
Gabe is walking fine now, and slowly gaining sign language. He is wanting to talk, but just doesn't have the ability. He is trying though. And he understands alot. He is able to go to child care at church with minimal crying at the beginning and when we are due to pick him up (I'm told he has an internal clock). He is still very small, but eats better than my nephews.
I've met so many acquaintances who pray for us, and I'm just amazed. How the family of God has prayed and lifted us up, and God has heard them and answered their prayers. Thanks.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Walking
Ok, I have to have a seperate post to say that Gabe is a walking man! The Friday that Addison was home sick with the flu, I think October 23rd (there was too much flu for me to remember exactly, bad mom) he took his first two steps. He was walking to Steve at the dinner table. Very slowly, he is gaining his walking abilities. It's been a month, and we are up to 12 steps, but usually 2-5. He will also walk while holding my hand, so we practice twice a day walking Lauren to and from Preschool. Its a very long/slow walk, but it is good practice for him.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Sickness
Wow, has it been awhile, and has it been a long almost 2 months! From the date of our last post, until now, someone in our household has been sick. Gabriel went from getting some virus after the camping weekend, to developing an ear infection, to not seeming to be responding to the antibiotic, to another stronger antibiotic, to an allergic reaction to the second antibiotic, to what was likely H1N1/Swine Flu. He was literally sick and screaming and not sleeping for a month. Addison brought the flu home from school, and was out for 3 days from school. A few weeks later we took her to get the seasonal flu vaccine, which they only had the nasal kind, and she got the flu from that! She was out another 3 days from school. Lauren was next to get the swine flu, but did great, and she did not get sick from the nasal vaccine. I got the flu after Lauren, which was several weeks ago, and I'm just finishing up a second course of antibiotic and steroids to heal the nasty sinus infection it gave me. Somehow, Steve stayed healthy through this all, but did end up taking about 3 days off of work. Now I'm the only one who hasn't had the seasonal flu vaccine, and they are almost out everywhere around here.
With Gabe being sick, he took a sharp nosedive with his attachment. When I was sick with the flu, I would come near him and he would start crying and point to Steve. Yeah. We decided that it was time to start up counseling again, and to try the therapist down the street. It's amazing how different Gabe is from crying at my presence to now. It wasn't the counselor, but he was able to give us insight to what happened. Basically, Gabe felt that I caused his sickness (I see mom, I feel sick, mom made me sick). As he started to get healthy again, his attachment to me grew, so that by my second meeting, which was with the therapist and Gabe, the therapist was able to confirm that Gabe was attached to me, and I believed it too. Steve came home that week and said that he could see the change in relationship between the two of us as well. We were enjoying each other, not just doing what we had to to survive. He also started to sleep through the night again, which does wonders to heal a body, mind and soul.
I know that there will be setbacks with Gabe, it isn't called the "dance of attachment" for nothing. But I feel like we are at the end of the attachment tunnel, looking out into the world of raising children, and all the pitfalls we have ahead with his possible adoption issues. Now that we have a relationship with Gabe, we can start discipline. Discipline is nothing without a relationship. Boy can this boy throw a tantrum!
It is always possible we are just on a peaceful island on this adventure, and just gearing up for the next tsunami! I hope not, but there are no guarantees in life (yes, except death and taxes). And this is what I must wrestle through with God. Why is life so wretched and unrelenting for some believers? Do some of us truly have to just wait our 1-90 years of this torturous life and just wait for the next? Is that our only hope? Should that be enough? Maybe it's just to realize my dependence on Him? Though I felt I was stretched beyond my ability the past few months, I'm still here, and he upheld me through many times. I'll have to wait and see what He is willing to teach me.
*Oops, I forgot to post this!
With Gabe being sick, he took a sharp nosedive with his attachment. When I was sick with the flu, I would come near him and he would start crying and point to Steve. Yeah. We decided that it was time to start up counseling again, and to try the therapist down the street. It's amazing how different Gabe is from crying at my presence to now. It wasn't the counselor, but he was able to give us insight to what happened. Basically, Gabe felt that I caused his sickness (I see mom, I feel sick, mom made me sick). As he started to get healthy again, his attachment to me grew, so that by my second meeting, which was with the therapist and Gabe, the therapist was able to confirm that Gabe was attached to me, and I believed it too. Steve came home that week and said that he could see the change in relationship between the two of us as well. We were enjoying each other, not just doing what we had to to survive. He also started to sleep through the night again, which does wonders to heal a body, mind and soul.
I know that there will be setbacks with Gabe, it isn't called the "dance of attachment" for nothing. But I feel like we are at the end of the attachment tunnel, looking out into the world of raising children, and all the pitfalls we have ahead with his possible adoption issues. Now that we have a relationship with Gabe, we can start discipline. Discipline is nothing without a relationship. Boy can this boy throw a tantrum!
It is always possible we are just on a peaceful island on this adventure, and just gearing up for the next tsunami! I hope not, but there are no guarantees in life (yes, except death and taxes). And this is what I must wrestle through with God. Why is life so wretched and unrelenting for some believers? Do some of us truly have to just wait our 1-90 years of this torturous life and just wait for the next? Is that our only hope? Should that be enough? Maybe it's just to realize my dependence on Him? Though I felt I was stretched beyond my ability the past few months, I'm still here, and he upheld me through many times. I'll have to wait and see what He is willing to teach me.
*Oops, I forgot to post this!
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