Thursday was our final visit with the baby whisperer. He backed off of being so confident, and was able to give me several pieces of evidence I why he felt Gabriel had experienced something. Gabriel may or may not have, but there are several reasons to make it believable now. The good news is that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing. He just encouraged more holding and touching, and recommended a book. He felt that things could get better with our continued focus on holding and touching, or Gabe could take a nose dive and we'd need therapy. Ironically, though he and the therapist at Bethany were trained in the same form of therapy, he doesn't start until they are 2, and she starts right away. But she is not available.
Steve and I felt very good after leaving his office, but after talking with our social worker, now I don't feel as secure. Steve and I both are uncertain as to where we go from here with therapy. Do we wait and give things a chance? Do we see the guy down the road now or later if things are going well?
Naps continue to be a source of stress and exhaustion, both physically and mentally. He is now fighting the one afternoon nap. We are trying to go with the therapist recommendation, and checking on him at 5, 10, 20 minutes, but he will scream or sit quietly for the hour. He absolutely fights sleep with all of his being.
Thank you Lord that we are seeing signs of attachment. Please pray that sleeping will become peaceful and full for Gabriel and for us.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Happy Birthdy to us, edited version
Steve and I had good birthdays, including going to the waterpark with the kids, going on a date by ourselves to see Jeremy Camp and Mercy Me in concert, and a Korean feast of food.
Gabriel is starting to show signs of attachment. Must be all those prayers going up for us. He is looking into my eyes for much longer periods, wanting to be on or near me most of the time, and crying when we are not present. We had him in his Sunday school class for the first time by himself this past Sunday, and he made it 15 minutes. It's good because he is showing signs of attachment to us. Gabriel is eating table foods with us! I can't say that he is chewing them, but he is taking them and moving them in his mouth and swallowing. He's not gagging or throwing up. Still not walking, but he is cruising along the furniture.
Sleeping is getting worse. He has been waking up earlier and earlier each day, and taking shorter and shorter naps. I have tried everything that I was told and then not told to do. He refused to sleep. I've come to conclusion that he is strong-willed. If anyone has any hints that help with strong willed children, please let me know.
I wish I could say I'm handling things better, but I'm not. I'm becoming angry and venting it his way.
Gabriel is starting to show signs of attachment. Must be all those prayers going up for us. He is looking into my eyes for much longer periods, wanting to be on or near me most of the time, and crying when we are not present. We had him in his Sunday school class for the first time by himself this past Sunday, and he made it 15 minutes. It's good because he is showing signs of attachment to us. Gabriel is eating table foods with us! I can't say that he is chewing them, but he is taking them and moving them in his mouth and swallowing. He's not gagging or throwing up. Still not walking, but he is cruising along the furniture.
Sleeping is getting worse. He has been waking up earlier and earlier each day, and taking shorter and shorter naps. I have tried everything that I was told and then not told to do. He refused to sleep. I've come to conclusion that he is strong-willed. If anyone has any hints that help with strong willed children, please let me know.
I wish I could say I'm handling things better, but I'm not. I'm becoming angry and venting it his way.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Happy Birthday to us
Almost two weeks ago was my 36 birthday. Man am I getting old. It was a blessed day, thank you Lord. Steve took the day off, we all went to Tropicanoe Cove and played in the water, Gabriel only took one nap so he didn't fight the sleep, the girls and I painted our toenails, and we went out to eat at Olive Garden. The next day Gabriel refused to take a morning nap despite being almost asleep when I put him in bed, and me trying everything calming/adoption friendly, to not adoption friendly. One hour and 15 minutes later, I was bawling, Addison was crying and my mom came. I got advice from a therapist that not co-sleeping was "ok" (not the best), and to try the 5 minute, 10 minute check, unless he's screaming and then try sitting outside his door. She also said to try to go to one nap.
The rest of the week was a birthday present to me and Steve. I never had to cook the rest of that week, between going out and leftovers. That was nice! Also, Steve and I went out for the first time on our own, while my mom watched all the kiddos. He took me to Odobo in Indy and to see Mercy Me and Jeremy Camp (whom we saw at the restaurant) at the State Fair. Except for throwing up and taking a bit to sleep, Gabriel did great. Last Saturday was Steve's 35th birthday, and I was busy doing things for him like fixing scrambled eggs, mowing the lawn, baking a carrot cake, and making Bulgogi and Chop Chae. It was a wonderful Korean feast.
The good news is that Gabriel is starting to show signs of attachment. Must be all those prayers going up for us. He is looking into my eyes for much longer periods, wanting to be on or near me most of the time, and crying when we are not present. We had him in his Sunday school class for the first time by himself (past 3-4 we stayed with him) for the first time this past Sunday, and he made it 15 minutes. It's good because he is showing signs of attachment to us. Might mean I won't be able to be in MOPS this semester though.
Another plus is that Gabriel is eating table foods with us! I can't say that he is chewing them, but he is taking them and moving them in his mouth and swallowing. He's not gagging or throwing up. Still not walking, but he is cruising along the furniture.
Sleeping is getting worse. He has been waking up earlier and earlier each day, and taking shorter and shorter naps. He went to bed at 7:45 last night, woke about 6:15, and took 1/2 hour nap one day. Again, I tried everything that I was told and then not told to do. He refused to sleep. Although he wasn't crying when I sat outside his room. He just wasn't sleeping, and eventually it became a game. I put him in "baby time out" by putting him on my back in the carrier the rest of the day. You'd think he would be exhausted and fall asleep. Nope. I've come to conclusion after talking to a couple moms of strong willed children that this is what he is. I thought Addison was strong willed. He puts Addison to shame. Oh, what more fun we have to look forward to. If anyone has any hints that help with strong willed children, please let me know.
I wish I could say I'm handling things better, but I'm not. I'm becoming angry and venting it his way. Calling him "Mr. Fussy-pants" is one of my milder statements. "Pain in the ***" was the statement today. As Steve said last night, I wish we could be adoption advocates, but we can't. And if our Social Worker who is very pro-adoption is saying she's done adopting after struggling with her child, then we aren't so bad.
Ok, this has been setting here a week, I better get it posted.
The rest of the week was a birthday present to me and Steve. I never had to cook the rest of that week, between going out and leftovers. That was nice! Also, Steve and I went out for the first time on our own, while my mom watched all the kiddos. He took me to Odobo in Indy and to see Mercy Me and Jeremy Camp (whom we saw at the restaurant) at the State Fair. Except for throwing up and taking a bit to sleep, Gabriel did great. Last Saturday was Steve's 35th birthday, and I was busy doing things for him like fixing scrambled eggs, mowing the lawn, baking a carrot cake, and making Bulgogi and Chop Chae. It was a wonderful Korean feast.
The good news is that Gabriel is starting to show signs of attachment. Must be all those prayers going up for us. He is looking into my eyes for much longer periods, wanting to be on or near me most of the time, and crying when we are not present. We had him in his Sunday school class for the first time by himself (past 3-4 we stayed with him) for the first time this past Sunday, and he made it 15 minutes. It's good because he is showing signs of attachment to us. Might mean I won't be able to be in MOPS this semester though.
Another plus is that Gabriel is eating table foods with us! I can't say that he is chewing them, but he is taking them and moving them in his mouth and swallowing. He's not gagging or throwing up. Still not walking, but he is cruising along the furniture.
Sleeping is getting worse. He has been waking up earlier and earlier each day, and taking shorter and shorter naps. He went to bed at 7:45 last night, woke about 6:15, and took 1/2 hour nap one day. Again, I tried everything that I was told and then not told to do. He refused to sleep. Although he wasn't crying when I sat outside his room. He just wasn't sleeping, and eventually it became a game. I put him in "baby time out" by putting him on my back in the carrier the rest of the day. You'd think he would be exhausted and fall asleep. Nope. I've come to conclusion after talking to a couple moms of strong willed children that this is what he is. I thought Addison was strong willed. He puts Addison to shame. Oh, what more fun we have to look forward to. If anyone has any hints that help with strong willed children, please let me know.
I wish I could say I'm handling things better, but I'm not. I'm becoming angry and venting it his way. Calling him "Mr. Fussy-pants" is one of my milder statements. "Pain in the ***" was the statement today. As Steve said last night, I wish we could be adoption advocates, but we can't. And if our Social Worker who is very pro-adoption is saying she's done adopting after struggling with her child, then we aren't so bad.
Ok, this has been setting here a week, I better get it posted.
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